Fairfield County Edition

New Year, New Underwear

Resolve to Take Better Psychological Self-Care

One of our clinicians believed as a child that there would be flying cars by 2019. Many of us today are thankful there are not. Resisting change is what we as humans do best, yet it is an unfortunate truth that all life thrives on constant and ever-present change, making it a necessary evil.

The same clinician with the flying car belief vowed this year to sort through and throw away all her old underwear as her annual resolution. In actuality, this is quite challenging for her, as she believes that each worn pair of underpants or socks still has the capability of enduring one last hurrah. At first glance, this might seem silly, but the underwear becomes a metaphor for change as in letting go of the past. This can be a bigger obstacle than we anticipate if the concepts of self-awareness, self-compassion and trust are not in our playbook.

One of the biggest challenges in embracing change is the negative hamster in every head. This hamster runs on his wheel of triggers, memories and assumptions that create reaction instead of response, which in turn causes chaos and misunderstanding. Trying to avoid this hamster is like holding on to sand—the tighter our grip becomes, the more difficult it is to control. Learning how to care for one’self psychologically is one of the best resolutions for our year of change, as it teaches us to let go, take the leap and trust that our wings will be built on the way down.

As the holiday lights dim, and we find ourselves with gym contracts not utilized, old textbooks never read and a master’s in not admitting failure once again, we check in with our clinician who is now determined to honor the son she lost by loving fiercely, being kind to herself and being open to life and the opportunities it brings. There are very few certainties in this existence except for the following: the only constant is change, no one has all the answers, everyone dies, everyone poops and one is never truly alone.

Julie A Levesque, LPC, MSHSV, FMHC, CCTP, practices at Wolf Spirit Wellness and Counseling Center, LLC, located at Northwood Village, 125 Main St N, Ste 2B, in Woodbury. Connect at 203-263-3175. See ad, page 18.

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